I wish I would have known at 20 what I know at 50

Personal Success or Failure

2:19 AM by pbrandt

It always seems to take one thing going wrong in life to trigger a need to review the rest of your life as well. That "aha" moment came for me this week when yet again I was faced with a job that has become highly unfulfilling.

In that moment of wonderment, I began to look at my life overall and what I have accomplished. To many it would appear that I have accomplished a lot. Too me, it appears I have accomplished almost nothing.

Outside of the standard "two wonderful kids and a fantastic marriage," I began to peer deeper into my commitment to other parts of my life. At 55 it has become somewhat apparent that time is running out. Not in the "I'm going to die soon" kind of thing, but the whole "my wild and crazy youth (yeh right!) has been replaced with a wonderful stable lifestyle." Maybe it’s a midlife crisis…again.

I am not interested in getting people to try to convince me I have it good, or I have accomplished great things. My head isn't there. I am the first to agree I have done plenty of things in my life and I have always done what I wanted. I wanted to become an author, I did. I wanted to act in movies and television, I did. I have even written a couple of screenplays which are being produced. I am living in the Middle East making lots of money and although I am good at what I do, the inner satisfaction doesn't appear to be here. So, that's not it. Let me explain.

The problem is that if what I want to do doesn't pay anything, like acting, or writing, or performing, I chicken out and stick with my safe job instead.

I have always secretly known it, but throughout my life I have tried to suppressed it; I am an artist. I have no interest in technology or business, not interested in driving anything or building anything, yet here I sit in my 8 to 5 job. I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder and yet I sit at my desk every day wondering what the future holds for me.

My first love as a youth was music. I sang in public, at school assemblies, was in a high school band (one of only 2 in a school of 1200 kids) and played trombone in the school band. Unfortunately, I have always been something of a chicken shit. Having grown up in a poor family, the thought of not having enough has always been a real problem for me. I have never been someone who threw caution to the wind and just went for it. My very restrictive, analytical, and chickenshit brain forced me to realize that I was not the best singer in the world or the best musician. So, I looked at all of my options, weighed what my chances were to make it a living and how much it would pay me and basically abandoned it right away. I methodically rationalized my dream away.

It still bothers me when I hear of musicians, like Joe Walsh from the Eagles, who used to live in his car, who had a passion for music so strong he couldn't fathom doing anything but be a singer / guitar player in a band. People like him have a passion to stick it out, through the poverty, through the hard times, and through a personal need to do what they know they love to do. Success finally came to him and to most people who stick it out and do what they believe in. People like him become wealthy and successful because they live their passion. I should have had the guts to follow my heart. My brother did it. I didn't.

So, here I sit in a fantastic job, making more money than I ever could in North America and living in a paradise. People spend big money to vacation here and my wife and I live here year round. I know it can't get much better than this. I am sure you are reading this thinking "what a putz! He's whining about his life and people would give anything to switch places with him."

I won't disagree with that, but again this topic is about what I consider success and failure in my life and not about my situation.

I suspect it all started with my inability to really identify what I wanted to be when I grew up. I always envied people like my brother who knew as a kid he wanted to be a builder and has done that for the last 40 years. Building 35,000 sq. ft. mansions is what he loves to do and he is really, really good at it! He has been very successful in that aspect of his life.

I, on the other hand, spent 20 years in the Canadian Military because my ex-wife thought it was a good idea. When I left that job, I couldn't commit to anything again, so I knew I liked write and I could combine writing with my technical background so I went for it. It didn't hurt that it paid good money.

Once again I realize that it's not my passion.

In fact, I find technical writing very easy and therefore not much of a challenge. To most other people what I do is difficult, tedious, and of no interest to them. I get it. I like to write…anything, both technical and creative. It's my general lack of direction that appears to be the motive of my malaise.

I would love to make a living as an author writing novels, but that too failed miserably, so here I sit working as a technical writer because it pays the bills. I am pathetic.

It has dawned on me that I have become a jack of all trades and a master of none. I was an okay hockey goalie, but not great. I can write novels, but they don't sell, I was an okay aircraft technician but not excellent, I can play guitar, but I'm far from great at it and I have been taught some good acting skills, but I am no Brad Pitt by any stretch of the imagination. See where this is going? I have tried to do everything I wanted to do but I have never really committed myself to anything with a passion and become excellent at it, top of the heap, leader in my field because that would require me to give up my nice paycheck.

My last blog talked about changing old habits to new ones and how willpower is the worst thing to use to change things in your life. I need a new approach.

Approach #1

I need to get out of my current day job funk and make myself busy in a new role somewhere else in my organization, or gather work from other sections within my company so I don't stay so frigging bored. I need to revise my old work habits and replace my inactivity with lots of activity. It makes me feel better when I have more, not less, work to do.

Approach #2

My health is not optimal and that is almost entirely because I am overweight. I have used willpower to the extreme and I am still fat. It is time to change my eating HABITS…a little at a time until I master the art of eating and slim down to my proper weight. I love to eat and I like to eat the most at night, a proven disaster for me. Changing a few habits like only eating vegetables after 4 PM should take care of that and begin the slow process of getting my weight down to an acceptable level.

Approach #3

I recently took guitar lessons and although I love my Taylor guitar and love playing it, it just isn't my instrument. I have learned enough to be able to play chords and with the right amount of practice, it could be useful if I ever want to get back into a band. Of course, at my age, I am not sure how realistic that would be…who wants an old fat bald headed guy in their band. Maybe other old fat bald headed guys? Maybe if I lose some weight I can just be old and bald.

The point is, the instrument that I truly am enjoying learning is the violin, and my lessons are going well. Instead of backing out or giving up when it begins to get hard, I need to change my strategy. I need to commit to learning how to play this instrument and become a master of it, not just okay playing it. This will require me to set up a new HABIT. I need to practice every day, no excuses…15 minutes to start so it doesn't seem overwhelming at first, and move up to one hour a day. The more I practice, the better I will get.

I also need to learn how to play it properly through a recognized institution. This means taking the music school exams and going through the grades like everybody else does until I am a certified violin player. No longer am I going to do it my way, as I did writing novels, which made no money. I can at least say I have learned from this lesson.

I really think that this is my ticket out of the 9 to 5 job I have learned to endure. Being a kick ass violin / fiddle player who can play rythmn guitar would be an asset to any band.

I know it's in me. I was born to perform. I love to act, sing, and play in a band as well as writing. I listen to music all day, every day when I write at work and at home. This should have been a big red flag a long time ago for me in identifying where my love and my passion lives.

I was born an artist, I can see that now. It's time to become so proficient in playing the violin that bands start calling me to play with them.

My brain screams "you are an artist!"

Peter A Brandt

Changing Habits and Why Willpower Never Works

1:13 AM by pbrandt

I have been reading an excellent book titled the "Happiness Advantage" and last night it touched upon something I had not expected. The book is generally about how being happy is much better in business and in life than not being happy.

But last night the author Shawn Achor described how during one of his lectures a man stood up and asked him, "isn't this all just common sense." It was an awkward moment for Shawn but he worked his way through it. After the lecture he was informed that the individual who had made the comment was in fact one of the most negative people in the company. It may have been obvious, but not obvious enough to this guy.

Comment sense doesn't mean common action.

Knowledge is only part of the battle. Without action, common sense doesn't help, which would explain why 44% of doctors are overweight and don't take the same advice they give their patients.

80% of people break their New Year's resolutions. Therefore, why is changing our out behavior so hard and how can we make it easier.

I have personally struggled to lose weight and I have all of the motivation and willpower to carry this out, yet years later, I am still at the same 25 lbs. overweight I have always been. Why?

William James, brother of Henry James the famous writer, penned the phrase "we are mere bundles of habits," which is actually a good thing. It prevents our brains from making thousands of decisions every day, such as "should I wear clothes to work, should I brush my teeth." Our habits do these things instinctively and allow our brains to concentrate on things that are more important.

What this means is that we need to make changes in our lives by turning them into habits; otherwise, we will fall back into our old routine - our old habits. We need to train our brains. When I played the violin for the first time, it sounded like crap because my neuron pathways in my brain were slow and ineffective…but as I continue to practice my brain begins to understand what I am trying to accomplish and it makes my fingers and bow hand move quicker and more efficiently. Habits form when we train our brain to the new way of doing things.

Willpower will always fail as a reason to make a change. The more we use it, the less effective willpower becomes. In the past when I used willpower to lose weight I no longer have willpower or mental energy to do anything else. The path of least resistance then took over, and we follow whatever is the easiest. Having to cook low calorie foods is much harder than ordering a cheeseburger at MacDonald's. The path of least resistance always wins out. So, what to do I need to do to change this?

For me to lose weight I need to plan in advance, and I need to have healthy snacks and foods at the ready. Then when I feel the need to eat something, the healthy stuff will be readily available. I need to make it harder for myself to continue with the old habit while I work on a new one - eating healthy and losing the weight. I can rid my fridge of all the things that I shouldn't eat and only have things I can or should eat. I need to keep no cash in my wallet so I can't go and buy chips and burgers. At least until I have trained my brain in the new habit of eating healthy and low calorie.

Standing for an hour practicing my violin seems so difficult. If I start with 15 minutes a day instead, this small change is easier to do and will begin to make a positive change in my habits. Soon I can go to 20 minutes, then 30 and 45 and before long carrying out a 1 hour practice will be a given.

As well, if I surround myself every day with healthy low calorie foods and make getting unhealthy and high calories foods harder to obtain, my body and brain will naturally go to the path of least resistance, which is to eat healthy and low calorie. As long as I don't ever deny myself a burger or a piece of pie or a Tim Horton's coffee, then I won't feel compelled to sabotage my new habit.

Make little changes until you are satisfied with your progress, and then increase your change a little more at a time.

I'll let you know if it works.

How to live to 100

2:25 AM by pbrandt

I received a lot of positive responses to the Positive Thinking report I wrote, so here I am again giving a synopsis on another topic that interests me, and maybe you as well.

I listened to an excellent TED audio presentation on my way to work. It was called How to live to 100.

1. 1 in 5000 people live to 100.

2. Our bodies are designed to last us around 90 years of age, but the average life expectancy in the USA is 78 – 12 years less than what our bodies were designed to last. This is because we are go out of our way to stress our bodies until it breaks.

3. He stated that our cells regenerate every 8 years and each time they do, they are a little more damaged and by the age of 65 the damage begins to compound exponentially.

4. Our genes and diet are major indicators of how long you will live. Being born into a family with poor genes will likely shorten your life, no matter what you do from that point on.

5. So the study went looking to find on the planet an area where the most amount of people who lived to 90’s and 100’s and they found three places. One is in Sardinia off the coast of Italy where the oldest living males live, second in the United States (California) for the longest living women (a sect of Seven Day Adventist’s religious group) as well as group of ladies who live in Okinawa off Japan.

6. So what did they all have in common. Well, nothing major that jumps out at you but here are some of the things they learned.

a. None of them had a regular exercise routine, but they did exercise through everyday lifestyle. They were active, had a lifestyle that required physical activity. In Sardinia they lived in the mountains and therefore had to walk up and down the streets all the time. The ladies in USA did not have appliances and conveniences so if they baked a cake, they had to make it by scratch.

b. All of them ate a plant based diet…vegetables, although the study found they did eat meat – Sardinia men loved their meat and Mediterranean diet. Okinawa residents ate more tofu and soy products than anywhere else on earth. USA women didn’t drink, smoke or do drugs and ate mainly vegetable based diet – but they had a spiritual lifestyle.

c. All of them watched that they didn’t overeat…by eating with smaller plates, eating smaller portions, and the ladies in Okinawa kept to a diet of around 1200 calories a day. This is considered too low for most people but for them it appeared to protect them (through the starvation mode our bodies go into when we eat a restricted calorie diet).

d. One of the most important thing they found was they had more best friends throughout their lifetime. In the USA the average person has 1 ½ friends…the lowest these groups had was 3 friends and most had more.

e. They lived in a real sense of community…either by religion that bound them together, or in the case of the 100 year old Okinawa women, they were a group of friends that were in constant contact with each other daily throughout their entire life.

7. The study found people usually become friends with people much like themselves. If overweight, most of their friends were overweight. If you want to be healthy, you need to surround yourself with people that are healthy. 50% chance you will become overweight if your friends are overweight.

8. They have found that walking is the number one major exercise activity that will extend your life. This is more important than your diet.

9. Obesity is the quickest way to shorten your life. Mortality rates are doubled in obese people. Your body has extra weight to carry around and contributes to illness in old age.

10. The presenter told a story about one 97 year old man who didn’t like the quote he was given for work to be done on his house so he did it himself – huffing and puffing all the while as he worked outside in the heat. He ended up in a hospital later on that day but not because of the work he did on his house. He was a doctor who continues to do 20 surgeries a month. Have an active lifestyle. Keep your brain moving.

11. The old adage that we become ill as we get older is bull. With proper exercise, diet, and friendships we can stay healthy and active into our 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

Summary of how to live to 100

1. Pick your parents well – your genes are a major factor

2. Eat a majority of vegetables diet

3. Keep an active lifestyle – walk when you could drive, swim, do things by hand instead of by machine

4. Have lots of friends – more that 3-4 good close friends keeps you laughing and enjoying life

5. A social network – religious or otherwise…spirituality of some form – provides us with lower levels of stress hormone in our body.

Peter A Brandt

Positive Thinking Seminar

1:38 AM by pbrandt

Last night a few of us attended a “Positive Thinking Seminar” at Manarat Saadiyat in Abu Dhabi. It was free and had a great buffet lunch afterwards (I am a sucker for free food!)

We got to hear three distinct speakers, starting with a young Canadian guy (I had to put in a plug) by the name of Neil Pasricha. He talked for almost an hour about his life. His wife left him and his best friend committed suicide. He was pretty down at the time and decided to write a blog titled “1000awesomethings.com” to help feel better about himself. At first only his father read his blog but before long 100’s, then 1000’s then millions of people were reading it. He won an award for the best blog in the world and then turned his blog into a New York bestselling book.

The second guy was Chad Crittenden who was diagnosed in his early 30’s with cancer on the bottom of his foot and had to have it amputated. It was a deadly type of skin cancer with an almost 0% survival rate. He ended up appearing on the “Survival” TV show and has run in marathons and now works with helping other amputees fit back into society. His positive outlook was what got him through his ordeal. It has been 10 years since his cancer. He is set to climb Mt Kilimanjaro.

The last guy, Shawn Achor, was my favorite. He has written a book entitled “The Happiness Advantage,” which I have downloaded to my Kindle. He attend and graduated from Harvard University and then became a professor there teaching “Positive Psychology.” I was told that when he offered the course, their expectations were maybe a 12 - 15 people might sign up. Over 1000 people showed up for the class and it was the most successful class at Harvard. He explained his research found that our personal happiness comes from only 10% from external sources and that the other 90% comes from our internal thoughts and feelings. We are responsible for our own happiness and we can be as happy or miserable as we want.

His research also found that happy people:

1.       Have 37% more sales
2.       Are 3 times more creative
3.       31% more productive
4.       40% more likely to get promoted
5.       Have 23% less fatigue symptoms
6.       Are up to 10% more engaged in what we do, and
7.       39% of happy positive people live to the age of 94.

He then went on to tell us five things we can do to become more positive and happier in our life. If we spend the next 21 days doing one or all of these things listed we will train ourselves to be more positive and happy in our daily life.

1.       Every day think of three things to be grateful for and say them out loud or write them down.
2.       Journaling. This means that every day we take a few minutes to write down our thoughts and feelings…kind of like a diary for our brain. They have found that our brain is unable to distinguish between the act of actually doing something or just thinking about do that something. What that means is you don’t actually have to do something to get the benefit of it…just think about doing it and our brain and body gets the benefit.
3.       Exercise…this releases endorphins and makes you feel more positive and happy.
4.       Mediation – this is an excellent exercise to slow our brains and stop it from multitasking. A couple of minutes every day.
5.       Every day carry out a conscious Act of Kindness. They have found that by sending out one positive email a day to someone in our social network who has been helpful, someone we admire or respect, and let them know our positive feeling toward them, this helps to make us more positive and happy.

So, that was the seminar from my perspective. For those who missed it, I hope this review is helpful. Carly and I practice most of the 5 things and we are extremely happy. Works for us!

Pete

Amazon, me and my writing

3:17 AM by pbrandt

So, I took a hiatus to writing and I think it was a helpful exercise. I am still learning to play guitar and violin but I have decided not to quit writing. Why?

If I have learned anything from the Amazon contest, it would be this:

1. I don’t care what people think of my writing, especially the type of reviewers that participated in the Amazon contest as a judge.

2. Trying to identify the quality of a book and the storyline by reading 3000 words out of 50,000 words is dumb. I understand the need to make the selection process a little more streamline so they don’t spend a year reading books trying to decide a winner, but it still doesn’t work.

3. The caliber of reviewers went from very good and constructive to useless, denigrating, and likely a failed writer with a chip on his of her shoulder.

4. Literary contests are not my thing and I knew that before I entered. I continue to do the same thing and expect a different result. I must be insane entering these contests.

5. I write for my own fulfillment and not to impress publishing industry executives, although if they are impressed I wouldn’t complain. Hmm so what does that make me? The book industry is in bad shape and self-publishing with a worldwide audience is much more appealing to me at this point of the game. I continue to write with the idea that good things could happen.

I must admit that I love having 100% control of my work. I make all of my own cover designs and write stories that are important to me all the while collect 70% royalties. I don’t get a large upfront royalty cheque but I don’t need it to live.

Writing is all about marketing and right now, I do more marketing for myself than any publishing company did in the past. I make my own videos, get press releases written and sent out I even have my own author page at Amazon.

Kindle is the best thing to happen to the publishing industry—maybe not publishers specifically but definitely for authors. All of my books are on Kindle and they sell better than paperback. I now own a kindle.

Music is back in my life

3:54 AM by pbrandt

I can boast that I have a substantial mp3 music collection and I spend every day at work listing to my music. I am not a person who only listens to one style of music. I can listen to classical one minute and country the next. Except for Jazz and Hip Hop, I'm open to listening to all styles.

Being a left hander, I always felt my life would have gone in a different direction if I would have been born right handed. Why? Because I could never learn how to play guitar. Back when I was growing up you either played right handed or turned it upside down to play. Neither one of those options appealed to me. I was heavy into playing in bands and singing and if I would have been able to play guitar I never would have joined the army.

Now that my writing days are over, I decided I needed to learn something new. Of course I was still attracted to learning to play guitar, but as I stated above, I didn't think that was going to happen.

It was my wife Carly who did the asking for me when a new music school opened in our neighbourhood here in UAE.
"Absolutely," they assured her, "we have two lefty's in class right now!"
Talk about my big break. I instantly bought a beautiful Yamaha C70 Classical guitar and started lessons the following week.

It has been 6 weeks now and I am very happy with my progress. My fingers go where there are supposed to go and I am retaining all of the things I was taught up to now.

We took a trip into Dubai to a music store and low and behold they had a left hand electric guitar on sale for less than half price. No left handed guitar players (if there are any in UAE) wanted to buy a lefty Yamaha Pacifica. Talk about luck knocking on my door.

Carly wanted to learn to play piano so we invested in a small keyboard and she is learning to play that on her own.

The next purchase was for a beautiful left hand Giglia violin, along with a bow and a recent purchase of a self taught book and CD. I figured if I could learn to play the fret board on a guitar it shouldn't be too big an obstacle to learn how to play it on a violin.

The amplifier for my electric guitar was the last of it. Perhaps we went a little overboard but I cannot overstate how nice it is to:

Learn to play an instrument - both a mental and a physical challenge, and
No longer be writing novels.

My weekends are now fun. I practice my guitar and violin while Carly practices her piano. I no longer have writing deadlines and receive no rejection letters.

For once in my life the only person standing in the way of my success is me.

I like those odds.

The writing is going to stop!

4:50 AM by pbrandt

Well March 22 has come and gone and my novel did not make it into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest quarterfinals. Even more important were the comments given to me by the reviewers and they helped make my decision that much clearer.

I am no longer going to write. A venture I truly love to do but alas, the sad reality is that as hard as I tried it is apparent that I am not going to be anything more than a top 20% writer. Don’t get the wrong impression, I consider this to be an accomplishment. I have written over 12 books and published seven. Not bad. But this contest has only strengthened what I already knew.

My last book was titled Canuck GI: The Peculiar Life of a Canadian Soldier. I sent out many press releases, even having it picked up by USA Today as well as publications throughout the world. My web girl Krissy made me an award-winning website and through it all it never became a best seller. For all the work it takes to write a book, the rewards have been missing, which is why my writing days are over.

I don’t mind working hard…spending months hunkered over my Mac, missing dinner dates with my wife so I can concentrate on my writing but with no sales or rewards worth mentioning, its time to move onto another endeavor.

I am fully satisfied and I’ll tell you why. I put my best foot forward. I didn’t scrimp on advertising, paying for a high class website or marketing my book. It failed…but not because I didn’t do it right. It just wasn’t what the public wanted and I can accept that. Which is why I can move on with my head held high. There is nothing worse that looking back and thinking “if I only would have done this, or that, it might have been successful.” I don’t have that. It failed all by itself.

So, what’s next? I have had music in my blood since I was in elementary school. I won the school district singing contest 4 years in a row and have sang and played keyboards in numerous bands.

I have always wanted to play guitar and I am now taking lessons. As well, we own a keyboard and I will be buying a left hand Fender Strat and a left hand Giglia Violin. Between my wife Carly and me, we are going to focus on learning how to play these instruments.

It’s important not to be scared of failure…otherwise you won’t try new things. I am an excellent storyteller and my novels are very interesting and entertaining – they just aren’t up to professional publishing standards. My excellent technical writing career just hasn’t transpired into creative writing. I have had limited success but just not enough success to warrant continuing to do it. What I have got from this endeavor is the knowledge that I can do it. As well, I have become friends with some very cool people.

Therefore, I am moving on to another endeavor…one that if nothing else will give me lots of pleasure.

So far, I am still in the running in the Amazon Novel Contest. Ya Whoo!!

3:28 AM by pbrandt

So I was talking in an earlier blog about what the difference was between someone who is successful and one who fails. This has now become a more important question now that I have made it past the first round of judging in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest.

I made it into the top 20% or in real terms…in the top 1000 out of 5000. Not bad. Still a long way off from number 1 I admit but you have to start somewhere right?

The next round drops to the top 250 or 5% overall. Now, that would be much better. If I could achieve that I would be very pleased. I could then consider myself as someone who has made it as a writer. If nothing else, it would give me something to add to my inquiry letter I will be sending to a literary agent. That would be a nice kick-start to getting my book sold to a publisher.

Unfortunately, one of my best friends didn’t make it and for that I am sorry. I read his book and I wlll say it’s really good. We had hoped we would be in NY together at the awards dinner and if we had made it there neither one of us would have given a crap who won. Sharing the moment with each other would have been more than an enough. Blast! Well there is always next year.

I love to compete if the playing field is equal but I always have a gut feeling these things are rigged, so I never get my hopes up to high. This time I feel a little more optimistic. When you work with large numbers like this contest has for entries, a signiifcant amount of people are involved. This in itself makes it harder to rig the outcome, although, if they are literary types judging the contest I might already be screwed.

Literary contests are generally a waste of time for me. I am reading a novel by an author who won the prestigious “Governor Generals Literary Prize” awarded in Canada and frankly, it is a very hard read. How someone can say so much about what they see and think during such a small parcel of time is beyond me. I cannot do it, nor would I want to. The premise of the story is fine but the pace is excruciatingly slow. I have been reading about the same day/event for over a week now.

End it please and let’s move on! It’s like listening to a your childs teacher talking about adding whole numbers, something everyone in the room already knows. Okay, we get it already! Let’s move the story along. (I’m sure when it comes to judging it didn’t hurt that the author was/is a TV personality.)

Canada is a literary country and to be published there you need to be a literary writer. I never understood how those books sell. None of the people I know read them. Heck, most of them haven’t read my stuff and it would be considered light reading by professional standards. Thank God for the United States. They enjoy publishing and reading more streamline novels, which is more in line with what I like to write. Stephen King would still be looking for a book contract if he lived in Canada.

Now that I am in the competition, I cannot wait to read what the other contestants have written. Of course I will likely feel that mine was better, but wouldn’t we all.

It’s hard to compete with someone who writes about growing up in South Africa with apartheid or being tossed in a Russian Gulag. For someone like me who works a regular job, the research to write about these topics would beyond anything I could afford. As well, they say”write about what you know.” In this case, I’ll take a pass and let them win. Neither one would be something I would want to live through just to write a novel. It seems there’s always one person who wants to write about such a depressing topic and so moves the judges that the mere mention of the topic is enough to earn the win. I’ll give them credit, they know what the judges are looking for and feed right into it.

I would think stories like this would have a short life span. What would you write about next? My stories are much more fun and cerebral. My brain doesn’t want me to tackle such intense subjects.

They tell us writers (and actors) to celebrate our successes when they happen because they may not happen often. So I took the page with my name and novel written on it from the Amazon list and posted it on my wall so every time I sit down to write I have to pass by it and remember my success.

If I would just stop all the yapping and enjoy the moment, I would realize making it to the second round is pretty cool. In a worldwide novel competition making it into the top 20%; now that’s not too shabby.

The Finer Things in Life

10:44 PM by pbrandt

We recently had the opportunity to see a wonderful concert at the Emirates Palace Auditorium. The concert was by the Staatskapelle Orchestra from Berlin Germany conducted by Daniel Barenboim. Daniel was a child prodigy on piano playing his first concert at the age of seven and began training as a conductor at ten. His piano playing was exceptional. He is the lifetime conductor of the orchestra which has been in existence for over 450 years. This was definitely worth the $70 for a ticket and something we wouldn’t get to see in North America.

One of the rules of life that I have tried to instill in my children has always been “never turn down the opportunity to see or try something new.” If they don’t like it, well then don’t go back but don’t poo-poo something if you’ve never tried it.

To me, this is one of the most valuable lessons I could ever have taught them.

I remember when they were growing up we didn’t have a lot of money (the military always paid just above the poverty line, or so it seemed), and with little money I had fewer opportunities to take them places and show them the finer pleasures of life.

That doesn’t mean we didn’t do stuff. When we did have enough money, we did stuff. We took a cross USA trip from Nova Scotia down to Boston and then west to Montana and up to Alberta to visit my parents. The return trip was through Canada. Another trip I took them on was to Florida to visit Walt Disney World. My kid’s have even gone white water rafting. I sent my oldest to California after graduation to visit his uncle and then sent him to Louisiana to go to school to become a Commercial Diver.

Now that I am working in the Middle East and have a little more disposible income my wife and I have decided to see and do as may new things that we couldn’t see or do in North America. I am a young 53 but the days seem to be going by fast and I can see the years whipping by. Before long we’ll be returning to North America.

The concerts at the Emirates Palace give us a chance to dress up (I get to wear a tux) and see world class musicians in action. In March, we are going to see Yo Yo Ma, world’s greatest Celloist play. In April we get to watch an Italian Opera and even a ballet.

I own an iPod that houses a lot of my music, at present over 5400 songs. I listen to my music everyday, sometimes as much as 7 hours as I sit at work and write. When I was a younger man, I would have bought cheaper headphones so as not to waste money but I realize the folly of that. I have some of the best music to listen to and I have been wearing mediocre headphones to enjoy it.Well, not anymore. I bought the best ear buds I could find to listen with; a nice pair of Klipsch S4 ear buds. This is important because I don’t want to settle for second best for the things important to me anymore. I want to listen to my music the best way possible. That goes the same at home with my HD TV and fantastic Home Theater System.

This isn’t a new change for me. I have always realized the benefits of buying the best things if necessary. My whole life revolves around writing and I am a stickler for the best pen and keyboard. It makes writing pleasureable for me. It drives me crazy when my wife pays $1.50 for a box of 12 pens when I have spent $50 for just one!

I have had a bad habit of wishing my life away. I can’t wait to make enough money to retire, or I can’t wait for the summer to come so I can go visit, or I can’t wait until my novel is finished. For too long I have neglected today. I am making a point of slowing down and enjoying what I do and see.

It takes a long time to write a novel but I have learned to enjoy every word I put on paper – savour it – love how my words flow to together. Yes it’s great to have it done but it is also just as important to enjoy doing it. That takes a little more work.

My wife and I have been given a fantastic opportunity and it is imperative we take advantage of it.

I work with many whose only focus is work and money. Frankly, I find that kind of sad. As we work here trying to save money (which is why most people are here) it’s important not to lose sight of one thing our accountant always tells us: “Don’t forget - you still have to live.” He doesn’t recommend investing all of your money…you also have to enjoy life.

Just before my dad passed away, he told me “ if there is something you want to do don’t wait like I did. Do it now!”

When he finally retired and was ready to travel and see new things both my parents began to have medical problems.

I took what he said to heart and shortly after his death, I signed up for acting classes and I enjoyed some fun acting in both television and film. Through my life I have been in rock bands, was a crack shot on my army rifle team, played goal in hockey and managed the team as well, took a gamble and moved to Rochester NY to a new job (and found my wife), became an actor, wrote a few novels and non-fictions books and traveled whenever I could. I have written and produced video book trailers and my wife Carly and I even entered a video we made in a contest. I honed my writing by attending ‘six’ writer’s marathons - a place for writers to write a complete novel in 72 hours for prizes and to raise money for a good cause. This past week I entered my latest novel in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest.

The point I am trying to make here is there isn’t much I wouldn’t try if the opportunity arose.

It took me many years to figure out what I really wanted to do…and that is write!

If people took time to understand what they have always wanted to do and took the first step to accomplishing it, it is amazing how the opportunities will begin to come in. Just be ready to embrace it when it comes.

When did I realize I hate vacation resorts?

11:45 PM by pbrandt

Well another vacation has come and gone and it has come to my attention that I don’t want to do it anymore. Taking a vacation is not the real issue…it’s where we end up going that has become the problem.

I understand that some people might be a little miffed that I would be complaining about my vacation destination when many people can’t even afford to take one. I can't help you there...life is what it is for everybody. This blog is merely about what I learned about my choices.

It started a week before Christmas when I had 5 days vacation that needed to be used up before the end of the year. After talking to a travel agent it became clear that we didn’t have a lot of choices. There are many vacation deals here in the UAE but getting flights is the biggest issue. We opted for a beautiful resort in Sharm El Sheikh in Egypt, the location where a woman was recently killed by a shark attack. Perhaps that is why we got such a good deal.

The Sierra Resort was wonderful, with 6 pools, beautiful room and great food. So what was the problem? It became clear after 2 days sitting in this wonderful paradise that I have grown to hate resorts!

A resort is a wonderful place to go to sit on a beach or beside a pool (I don’t like doing that...its boring) get shitfaced on the free booze (I had one beer and it tasted water down and weak) and eat like a pig at the "all you can eat" buffets (which by day 3 I couldn’t stomach anymore). The food was wonderful but it reminded me of mess hall food when I was in the army. There’s nothing specifically wrong with it but there isn’t anything right with it either. By the end of the week I could barely find anything I could eat. (Getting ill part way through the week didn’t help.)

But more importantly, a resort gives you no idea what it’s like in the area. We could have gone to Cairo and taken a Nile river cruise followed by a tour of the pyramids. Even Luxor Egypt would have given us a historical travel back through time with its many ancient temples.

The point I am trying to make is that I want to make my vacations from now on worthy of the time and effort of going. Sitting by another pool looking at Russian women in bathing suits is okay for a short while but in the end the only thing I gained from the experience is that I don’t want to do it again.

There is much to see in this world and while I am living in Abu Dhabi I want us to benefit from it. A tour of Kenya and the Serengeti, the wonders of Thailand and its temples, Petra in Jordan, the Kremlin in Moscow and even the Eiffel Tower in Paris are places I would love to visit. And that isn't even the definitive list…there is still India, Sri Lanka, Singapore, China and Indonesia that all are filled with both cultural and historic meaning.

My wife Carly and I have decided that our vacations from this point on must be meaningful as well as shorter. They will be between 3 to 5 days maximum and we will take advantage of guided tours when possible. This eliminates a lot of pressure on my end trying to hook up hotel/flights/attractions in a foreign country I know nothing about.

Although I like to take care of things myself this will be one thing that I will grudgling leave to a professional.

People - What makes one person successful while another a failure?

12:03 AM by pbrandt

"Success"and "Failure" with people has always been a fascinating topic with me. Seeing someone very young achieving things that would take most humans years to accomplish has always been intriguing.

I was born and raised with severe self esteem issues as a child as well as being a late bloomer. (I was almost 19 in the Army when puberty finally finished its maiden voyage.)

To give you an example of what I am talking about let's look at Miley Cyrus. She just turned 18 recently and she's already a billionaire. How is this even possible?

I look back at my own life and at 18 I was a wreck - barely able to talk to girls, or think about what career path to take, how to pass any class without squeaking by, lose my virginity with the help of a girl or anything else that was supposed to make me into the man I am today.

You can say Miley was born with talent, a fantastic voice, no self esteem issues to screw up her brain and no fear about succeeding. You could add that her father got her the Disney contract but getting your foot in the door won't help you if you don't have the goods to keep you there.

The reality is Miley isn't really any different than 1000's of other kids her age. She's pretty but not what most guys would consider gorgeous. Almost all of her adoring fans are girls so that strikes that idea off the list.

So why her? Does she send out a secret "vibe" that attracts people to her that no average human being knows how to do? Perhaps she has a way of hypnotizing her audience into listening to her CD's and buy her stuff on a subconscious level. (Man I need some of that!)

My own theory is that there is more to it than just opportunity and talent. She has something in her that is lacking in all of the rest. What is it? Why is she not scared to be in front of 1000's of people singing - able to memorize hours of songs and dance moves - not be prone to making mistakes that inexperience and youth brings to everyone else?

In any career or endeavour if you take 2 people - same age, same level of talent, same breaks - one will make it - the other one won't. There are countless stories of people who have make it and they can't explain why. I know from the enormous amount of reading I do that in most cases the most talented person wasn't the one who became a success. Is it just perseverance? I don't think so.

I am now 53 and I finally figured out a few years ago what I wanted to do with my life - become a writer! (I told you I was a late bloomer.) Of course I spent 20 years in the military (not writing) before finally gaining enough smarts to become one. At least I gravitated to positions within the Air Force that allowed me to do some writing hence the Technical Writing career. But is that enough?

I know I am a good Technical Writer but ask me the rules for grammar and I couldn't tell you. For me it's a feeling - a sense that the paragraphs and sentences come together. My spelling is really good; something I actually took pride in while attending school. However, if I was asked to take an English Grammar test I'd likely flunk.

For me at least those pesky self esteem issues I used to own are now gone. My other life as a writer is writing novels and non-fiction books which I do as some kind of therapy to empty my head of my bizarre and vivid imagination. My stories have many twists and turns.

But I can't say writing novels has paid off for me financially. Is it because I have a few doubts about my writing and instinctively everyone can sense it and are therefore repelled from buying my books?

Now before you start thinking "here comes another writer to complain" let me just say this - that's not the reason I am writing this blog. I am not complaining . I am a Technical Writer and I love my job and it pays decent money. As well I love to write novels and non-fiction for all of my own reasons so it isn't life and death for me if I don't sell my books.

The reason why I am bringing this up is because the whole process of "success" and "failure' in humans and human nature really does fascinate me. Here is what I mean.

They say people only use 10% of their brain but statistics would suggest that there are some people who are using significantly more. Maybe the great "Kreskin" who can read minds is able to do so because he uses significantly more brain power than the average 10%. Has anyone studied this? Is this what gives successful people an edge over those who aren't successful?

In Canada every year our country puts out 1000's of good little hockey players that are made up of all shapes and sizes but what is it that made Sidney Crosby significantly better than 99.9% of the other kids. He isn't the biggest - the strongest - the fastest. If you compare his life with other kids who were given the same amount of opportunity, coaching, and skill development as Sidney why didn't they become as good. Whatever they are lacking in is overflowing in Sidney. I played hockey as a goalie. I made all of the same moves stopping pucks as an NHL goalie would. I even played with some NHL caliber players. So why wasn't I as good? Physical ability may be a solid answer for some of the answers with hockey but people are successful in things that don't require a physical prowess.

Could it just be luck? It has worked for many people - right place, right time.

I am constantly told how fast and accurate I am at writing all types of technical documentation yet to me I find it so easy I wonder sometimes when I'll be caught for being a fraud. At times I have to pinch myself.
"Am I really getting paid to do this?"
I have learned that for most people writing anything is as pleasureable as getting your womb scraped.

But here is the rub. Work wise I am very successful- writing creatively not so much. So why doesn't my writing talent translate across all fields of writing?

I have been writing for over 16 years and became a published author in 2005. So why haven't I had the same success as other authors. Are they lying to us about their success. The publishing game is full of smoke and mirrors. (Try to find out sales figures from a publisher is like breaking into the Pentagon - not going to happen!)

I have had the same level of basic writer training, sent my book to editors for clarity and tweaks on my style and grammar and I have had a desire to write since I was a kid. I have the talent or I wouldn't be able to continue doing what I do everyday. Many people outside of my family and friends tell me I have great story ideas. My books are fast paced and loaded with quality story lines. I have written some funny and quite startling novels but so far none have proven to be a NY Times best seller. Perhaps one more final final edit would have helped.

Maybe I didn't market myself properly. I even went crazy with press releases about my books that went around the world; even being picked up by USA Today. USA Today! That's got to account for something right?

Krissy even make me a killer website that has won awards. This has translated to over 935 people from 49 countries visiting my website and they have stayed an average of 3.28 minutes...a very good rate from what I have been told.

So, what's the answer? Why do some people sell thousands of books and I sell significantly less?

There has got be something I am lacking. Some people may suggested I'm not very good at it. I've read some pretty awful published books in my life which prompted me to say "I can do better than this guy at writing!"

For that to be an accurate conclusion a part of the world population would have had to have read my books. If 5000 of my books were sold and 4000 people said my writing stinks I would consider that a fair statement and carry on with my acting career instead. (2500 and 2500 would only confuse me.)
So far that hasn't happened.

I guess I may never know the answer to this question. My game plan is to continue to write and hope that someone discovers my talent and I become an overnight sensation - with all the fame and fortune that comes with it.

Wait! I think I got it..."I'm successful at not being successful."

I will continue to write my novels until:

a. I die, or
b. I become independently wealthy from my book sales and I can retire in the Caribbean.

Hmmm...let's hope I live a long, long time...

Capitalism

3:19 AM by pbrandt

I watched the movie by Michael Moore titled "Capitalism A Love Story" and before you groan and turn away you should take it upon yourself to watch it.

Many of the things Mr. Moore talked about in the movie were things that I personally had issues with for years.

I am not a person who likes it all one way or all the other. I always prided my country Canada for allowing capitalism to flourish in business but leaving the things that are imporant to Canadians under a socialist umbrella.

Country's that have one extreme or the other (all Communism where everything is owned and operated by the people - the government) or all Capitalism (where every service in the country is run as a corporation) hurts the people.

I have read that doctor's in communist countries are paid the same as someone sweeping floors because under the communist system everyone is equal. That's a load of bunk. Not everyone is equal. Someone who has committed years to going to school to become a doctor endures much more stress and is more accountable for his or her actions than someone who sweeps floors. I have no problem in getting compensated for your knowledge.

But in a capitalist system that same doctor is operating under a financial umbrella (either by their own accord or thrust upon them by their HMO's) which has left patients to go without or even die because they lacked the funds to pay to get well.

A well rounded country has taken the things that matter most to their people and have regulated and monitored them to prevent profits from impedding the will of the people, which is to live in harmony and live a long prosperous life.

I lived in the United States for two years and met some truly wonderful people; I even married one of them. I can honestly say that it was a bit of a cultural shock for me when I first arrvied and had to fight Worldcom and Verizon over their unregulated practices of trying to rip me off. I even had to file a complaint with the Consumer Protection section of the New York State government to stop them. I realized at that moment that this was a fight I didn't have to worry about back home because the government of Canada regulated what they could and couldn't charge. (It has begun to change to become more like the US - in Ontario at least.)

If government officials looked at what works best for their citizens almost all of these problems would go away.

To me a good mix of capitalism and socialism is important.