Amazon, me and my writing

3:17 AM by pbrandt
So, I took a hiatus to writing and I think it was a helpful exercise. I am still learning to play guitar and violin but I have decided not to quit writing. Why?  
If I have learned anything from the Amazon contest, it would be this:
1.       I don’t care what people think of my writing, especially the type of reviewers that participated in the Amazon contest as a judge.
2.       Trying to identify the quality of a book and the storyline by reading 3000 words out of 50,000 words is dumb. I understand the need to make the selection process a little more streamline so they don’t spend a year reading books trying to decide a winner, but it still doesn’t work.
3.       The caliber of reviewers went from very good and constructive to useless, denigrating, and likely a failed writer with a chip on his of her shoulder.
4.       Literary contests are not my thing and I knew that before I entered. I continue to do the same thing and expect a different result. I must be insane entering these contests.
5.       I write for my own fulfillment and not to impress publishing industry executives, although if they are impressed I wouldn’t complain. Hmm so what does that make me?  The book industry is in bad shape and self-publishing with a worldwide audience is much more appealing to me at this point of the game. I continue to write with the idea that good things could happen.

I must admit that I love having 100% control of my work. I make all of my own cover designs and write stories that are important to me all the while collect 70% royalties. I don’t get a large upfront royalty cheque but I don’t need it to live.

Writing is all about marketing and right now, I do more marketing for myself than any publishing company did in the past. I make my own videos, get press releases written and sent out I even have my own author page at Amazon.

Kindle is the best thing to happen to the publishing industry—maybe not publishers specifically but definitely for authors. All of my books are on Kindle and they sell better than paperback. I now own a kindle.
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Music is back in my life

3:54 AM by pbrandt
I can boast that I have a substantial mp3 music collection and I spend every day at work listing to my music. I am not a person who only listens to one style of music. I can listen to classical one minute and country the next. Except for Jazz and Hip Hop, I'm open to listening to all styles.

Being a left hander, I always felt my life would have gone in a different direction if I would have been born right handed. Why? Because I could never learn how to play guitar. Back when I was growing up you either played right handed or turned it upside down to play. Neither one of those options appealed to me. I was heavy into playing in bands and singing and if I would have been able to play guitar I never would have joined the army.

Now that my writing days are over, I decided I needed to learn something new. Of course I was still attracted to learning to play guitar, but as I stated above, I didn't think that was going to happen.

It was my wife Carly who did the asking for me when a new music school opened in our neighbourhood here in UAE.
"Absolutely," they assured her, "we have two lefty's in class right now!"
Talk about my big break. I instantly bought a beautiful Yamaha C70 Classical guitar and started lessons the following week.

It has been 6 weeks now and I am very happy with my progress. My fingers go where there are supposed to go and I am retaining all of the things I was taught up to now.

We took a trip into Dubai to a music store and low and behold they had a left hand electric guitar on sale for less than half price. No left handed guitar players (if there are any in UAE) wanted to buy a lefty Yamaha Pacifica. Talk about luck knocking on my door.

Carly wanted to learn to play piano so we invested in a small keyboard and she is learning to play that on her own.

The next purchase was for a beautiful left hand Giglia violin, along with a bow and a recent purchase of a self taught book and CD. I figured if I could learn to play the fret board on a guitar it shouldn't be too big an obstacle to learn how to play it on a violin.

The amplifier for my electric guitar was the last of it. Perhaps we went a little overboard but I cannot overstate how nice it is to:
  1. Learn to play an instrument - both a mental and a physical challenge, and
  2. No longer be writing novels.
My weekends are now fun. I practice my guitar and violin while Carly practices her piano. I no longer have writing deadlines and receive no rejection letters.

For once in my life the only person standing in the way of my success is me.

I like those odds.
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The writing is going to stop!

4:50 AM by pbrandt
Well March 22 has come and gone and my novel did not make it into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest quarterfinals. Even more important were the comments given to me by the reviewers and they helped make my decision that much clearer.

I am no longer going to write. A venture I truly love to do but alas, the sad reality is that as hard as I tried it is apparent that I am not going to be anything more than a top 20% writer. Don’t get the wrong impression, I consider this to be an accomplishment. I have written over 12 books and published seven. Not bad. But this contest has only strengthened what I already knew.

My last book was titled Canuck GI: The Peculiar Life of a Canadian Soldier. I sent out many press releases, even having it picked up by USA Today as well as publications throughout the world. My web girl Krissy made me an award-winning website and through it all it never became a best seller. For all the work it takes to write a book, the rewards have been missing, which is why my writing days are over.

I don’t mind working hard…spending months hunkered over my Mac, missing dinner dates with my wife so I can concentrate on my writing but with no sales or rewards worth mentioning, its time to move onto another endeavor.

I am fully satisfied and I’ll tell you why. I put my best foot forward. I didn’t scrimp on advertising, paying for a high class website or marketing my book. It failed…but not because I didn’t do it right.  It just wasn’t what the public wanted and I can accept that. Which is why I can move on with my head held high. There is nothing worse that looking back and thinking “if I only would have done this, or that, it might have been successful.” I don’t have that. It failed all by itself.

So, what’s next? I have had music in my blood since I was in elementary school. I won the school district singing contest 4 years in a row and have sang and played keyboards in numerous bands.

I have always wanted to play guitar and I am now taking lessons. As well, we own a keyboard and I will be buying a left hand Fender Strat and a left hand Giglia Violin. Between my wife Carly and me, we are going to focus on learning how to play these instruments.

It’s important not to be scared of failure…otherwise you won’t try new things. I am an excellent storyteller and my novels are very interesting and entertaining – they just aren’t up to professional publishing standards. My excellent technical writing career just hasn’t transpired into creative writing. I have had limited success but just not enough success to warrant continuing to do it.  What I have got from this endeavor is the knowledge that I can do it. As well, I have become friends with some very cool people.

Therefore, I am moving on to another endeavor…one that if nothing else will give me lots of pleasure.
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So far, I am still in the running in the Amazon Novel Contest. Ya Whoo!!

3:28 AM by pbrandt
So I was talking in an earlier blog about what the difference was between someone who is successful and one who fails. This has now become a more important question now that I have made it past the first round of judging in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest.

I made it into the top 20% or in real terms…in the top 1000 out of 5000. Not bad. Still a long way off from number 1 I admit but you have to start somewhere right?
The next round drops to the top 250 or 5% overall. Now, that would be much better. If I could achieve that I would be very pleased. I could then consider myself as someone who has made it as a writer. If nothing else, it would give me something to add to my inquiry letter I will be sending to a literary agent. That would be a nice kick-start to getting my book sold to a publisher.

Unfortunately, one of my best friends didn’t make it and for that I am sorry. I read his book and I wlll say it’s really good. We had hoped we would be in NY together at the awards dinner and if we had made it there neither one of us would have given a crap who won. Sharing the moment with each other would have been more than an enough. Blast! Well there is always next year.

I love to compete if the playing field is equal but I always have a gut feeling these things are rigged, so I never get my hopes up to high. This time I feel a little more optimistic. When you work with large numbers like this contest has for entries, a signiifcant amount of people are involved. This in itself makes it harder to rig the outcome, although, if they are literary types judging the contest I might already be screwed.

Literary contests are generally a waste of time for me. I am reading a novel by an author who won the prestigious “Governor Generals Literary Prize” awarded in Canada and frankly, it is a very hard read. How someone can say so much about what they see and think during such a small parcel of time is beyond me. I cannot do it, nor would I want to. The premise of the story is fine but the pace is excruciatingly slow. I have been reading about the same day/event for over a week now.
End it please and let’s move on! It’s like listening to a your childs teacher talking about adding whole numbers, something everyone in the room already knows. Okay, we get it already! Let’s move the story along. (I’m sure when it comes to judging it didn’t hurt that the author was/is a TV personality.)

Canada is a literary country and to be published there you need to be a literary writer. I never understood how those books sell. None of the people I know read them. Heck, most of them haven’t read my stuff and it would be considered light reading by professional standards. Thank God for the United States. They enjoy publishing and reading more streamline novels, which is more in line with what I like to write. Stephen King would still be looking for a book contract if he lived in Canada.

Now that I am in the competition, I cannot wait to read what the other contestants have written. Of course I will likely feel that mine was better, but wouldn’t we all.

It’s hard to compete with someone who writes about growing up in South Africa with apartheid or being tossed in a Russian Gulag. For someone like me who works a regular job, the research to write about these topics would beyond anything I could afford. As well, they say”write about what you know.” In this case, I’ll take a pass and let them win. Neither one would be something I would want to live through just to write a novel. It seems there’s always one person who wants to write about such a depressing topic and so moves the judges that the mere mention of the topic is enough to earn the win. I’ll give them credit, they know what the judges are looking for and feed right into it.

I would think stories like this would have a short life span. What would you write about next? My stories are much more fun and cerebral. My brain doesn’t want me to tackle such intense subjects.

They tell us writers (and actors) to celebrate our successes when they happen because they may not happen often. So I took the page with my name and novel written on it from the Amazon list and posted it on my wall so every time I sit down to write I have to pass by it and remember my success.

If I would just stop all the yapping and enjoy the moment, I would realize making it to the second round is pretty cool. In a worldwide novel competition making it into the top 20%; now that’s not too shabby.
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The Finer Things in Life

10:44 PM by pbrandt
We recently had the opportunity to see a wonderful concert at the Emirates Palace Auditorium. The concert was by the Staatskapelle Orchestra from Berlin Germany conducted by Daniel Barenboim. Daniel was a child prodigy on piano playing his first concert at the age of seven and began training as a conductor at ten. His piano playing was exceptional. He is the lifetime conductor of the orchestra which has been in existence for over 450 years. This was definitely worth the $70 for a ticket and something we wouldn’t get to see in North America.

One of the rules of life that I have tried to instill in my children has always been “never turn down the opportunity to see or try something new.” If they don’t like it, well then don’t go back but don’t poo-poo something if you’ve never tried it.

To me, this is one of the most valuable lessons I could ever have taught them.

I remember when they were growing up we didn’t have a lot of money (the military always paid just above the poverty line, or so it seemed), and with little money I had fewer opportunities to take them places and show them the finer pleasures of life.
That doesn’t mean we didn’t do stuff. When we did have enough money, we did stuff. We took a cross USA trip from Nova Scotia down to Boston and then west to Montana and up to Alberta to visit my parents. The return trip was through Canada. Another trip I took them on was to Florida to visit Walt Disney World. My kid’s have even gone white water rafting. I sent my oldest to California after graduation to visit his uncle and then sent him to Louisiana to go to school to become a Commercial Diver.

Now that I am working in the Middle East and have a little more disposible income my wife and I have decided to see and do as may new things that we couldn’t see or do in North America. I am a young 53 but the days seem to be going by fast and I can see the years whipping by. Before long we’ll be returning to North America.

The concerts at the Emirates Palace give us a chance to dress up (I get to wear a tux) and see world class musicians in action. In March, we are going to see Yo Yo Ma, world’s greatest Celloist play. In April we get to watch an Italian Opera and even a ballet.

I own an iPod that houses a lot of my music, at present over 5400 songs. I listen to my music everyday, sometimes as much as 7 hours as I sit at work and write. When I was a younger man, I would have bought cheaper headphones so as not to waste money but I realize the folly of that. I have some of the best music to listen to and I have been wearing mediocre headphones to enjoy it.Well, not anymore. I bought the best ear buds I could find to listen with; a nice pair of Klipsch S4 ear buds. This is important because I don’t want to settle for second best for the things important to me anymore. I want to listen to my music the best way possible. That goes the same at home with my HD TV and fantastic Home Theater System.

This isn’t a new change for me. I have always realized the benefits of buying the best things if necessary. My whole life revolves around writing and I am a stickler for the best pen and keyboard. It makes writing pleasureable for me. It drives me crazy when my wife pays $1.50 for a box of 12 pens when I have spent $50 for just one!

I have had a bad habit of wishing my life away. I can’t wait to make enough money to retire, or I can’t wait for the summer to come so I can go visit, or I can’t wait until my novel is finished. For too long I have neglected today. I am making a point of slowing down and enjoying what I do and see.

It takes a long time to write a novel but I have learned to enjoy every word I put on paper – savour it – love how my words flow to together. Yes it’s great to have it done but it is also just as important to enjoy doing it. That takes a little more work.

My wife and I have been given a fantastic opportunity and it is imperative we take advantage of it.

I work with many whose only focus is work and money. Frankly, I find that kind of sad. As we work here trying to save money (which is why most people are here) it’s important not to lose sight of one thing our accountant always tells us: “Don’t forget - you still have to live.” He doesn’t recommend investing all of your money…you also have to enjoy life.

Just before my dad passed away, he told me “ if there is something you want to do don’t wait like I did. Do it now!”
When he finally retired and was ready to travel and see new things both my parents began to have medical problems.

I took what he said to heart and shortly after his death, I signed up for acting classes and I enjoyed some fun acting in both television and film. Through my life I have been in rock bands, was a crack shot on my army rifle team, played goal in hockey and managed the team as well, took a gamble and moved to Rochester NY to a new job  (and found my wife), became an actor, wrote a few novels and non-fictions books and traveled whenever I could. I have written and produced video book trailers and my wife Carly and I even entered a video we made in a contest. I honed my writing by attending ‘six’ writer’s marathons - a place for writers to write a complete novel in 72 hours for prizes and to raise money for a good cause. This past week I entered my latest novel in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest.

The point I am trying to make here is there isn’t much I wouldn’t try if the opportunity arose.
It took me many years to figure out what I really wanted to do…and that is write!
If people took time to understand what they have always wanted to do and took the first step to accomplishing it, it is amazing how the opportunities will begin to come in. Just be ready to embrace it when it comes.
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When did I realize I hate vacation resorts?

11:45 PM by pbrandt
Well another vacation has come and gone and it has come to my attention that I don’t want to do it anymore. Taking a vacation is not the real issue…it’s where we end up going that has become the problem.

I understand that some people might be a little miffed that I would be complaining about my vacation destination when many people can’t even afford to take one. I can't help you there...life is what it is for everybody. This blog is merely about what I learned about my choices.

It started a week before Christmas when I had 5 days vacation that needed to be used up before the end of the year. After talking to a travel agent it became clear that we didn’t have a lot of choices. There are many vacation deals here in the UAE but getting flights is the biggest issue. We opted for a beautiful resort in Sharm El Sheikh in Egypt, the location where a woman was recently killed by a shark attack. Perhaps that is why we got such a good deal.

The Sierra Resort was wonderful, with 6 pools, beautiful room and great food. So what was the problem? It became clear after 2 days sitting in this wonderful paradise that I have grown to hate resorts!

A resort is a wonderful place to go to sit on a beach or beside a pool (I don’t like doing that...its boring) get shitfaced on the free booze (I had one beer and it tasted water down and weak) and eat like a pig at the "all you can eat" buffets (which by day 3 I couldn’t stomach anymore). The food was wonderful but it reminded me of mess hall food when I was in the army. There’s nothing specifically wrong with it but there isn’t anything right with it either. By the end of the week I could barely find anything I could eat. (Getting ill part way through the week didn’t help.)

But more importantly, a resort gives you no idea what it’s like in the area. We could have gone to Cairo and taken a Nile river cruise followed by a tour of the pyramids. Even Luxor Egypt would have given us a historical travel back through time with its many ancient temples.

The point I am trying to make is that I want to make my vacations from now on worthy of the time and effort of going. Sitting by another pool looking at Russian women in bathing suits is okay for a short while but in the end the only thing I gained from the experience is that I don’t want to do it again.

There is much to see in this world and while I am living in Abu Dhabi I want us to benefit from it. A tour of Kenya and the Serengeti, the wonders of Thailand and its temples, Petra in Jordan, the Kremlin in Moscow and even the Eiffel Tower in Paris are places I would love to visit. And that isn't even the definitive list…there is still India, Sri Lanka, Singapore, China and Indonesia that all are filled with both cultural and historic meaning.

My wife Carly and I have decided that our vacations from this point on must be meaningful as well as shorter. They will be between 3 to 5 days maximum and we will take advantage of guided tours when possible. This eliminates a lot of pressure on my end trying to hook up hotel/flights/attractions in a foreign country I know nothing about.

Although I like to take care of things myself this will be one thing that I will grudgling leave to a professional.
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People - What makes one person successful while another a failure?

12:03 AM by pbrandt
"Success"and "Failure" with people has always been a fascinating topic with me. Seeing someone very young achieving things that would take most humans years to accomplish has always been intriguing.

I was born and raised with severe self esteem issues as a child as well as being a late bloomer. (I was almost 19 in the Army when puberty finally finished its maiden voyage.)

To give you an example of what I am talking about let's look at Miley Cyrus. She just turned 18 recently and she's already a billionaire. How is this even possible?

I look back at my own life and at 18 I was a wreck - barely able to talk to girls, or think about what career path to take, how to pass any class without squeaking by, lose my virginity with the help of a girl or anything else that was supposed to make me into the man I am today.

You can say Miley was born with talent, a fantastic voice, no self esteem issues to screw up her brain and no fear about succeeding. You could add that her father got her the Disney contract but getting your foot in the door won't help you if you don't have the goods to keep you there.

The reality is Miley isn't really any different than 1000's of other kids her age. She's pretty but not what most guys would consider gorgeous. Almost all of her adoring fans are girls so that strikes that idea off the list.

So why her? Does she send out a secret "vibe" that attracts people to her that no average human being knows how to do? Perhaps she has a way of hypnotizing her audience into listening to her CD's and buy her stuff on a subconscious level. (Man I need some of that!)

My own theory is that there is more to it than just opportunity and talent. She has something in her that is lacking in all of the rest. What is it? Why is she not scared to be in front of 1000's of people singing - able to memorize hours of songs and dance moves - not be prone to making mistakes that inexperience and youth brings to everyone else?

In any career or endeavour if you take 2 people - same age, same level of talent, same breaks - one will make it - the other one won't. There are countless stories of people who have make it and they can't explain why. I know from the enormous amount of reading I do that in most cases the most talented person wasn't the one who became a success. Is it just perseverance? I don't think so.

I am now 53 and I finally figured out a few years ago what I wanted to do with my life - become a writer! (I told you I was a late bloomer.) Of course I spent 20 years in the military (not writing) before finally gaining enough smarts to become one. At least I gravitated to positions within the Air Force that allowed me to do some writing hence the Technical Writing career. But is that enough?

I know I am a good Technical Writer but ask me the rules for grammar and I couldn't tell you. For me it's a feeling - a sense that the paragraphs and sentences come together. My spelling is really good; something I actually took pride in while attending school. However, if I was asked to take an English Grammar test I'd likely flunk.

For me at least those pesky self esteem issues I used to own are now gone. My other life as a writer is writing novels and non-fiction books which I do as some kind of therapy to empty my head of my bizarre and vivid imagination. My stories have many twists and turns. 

But I can't say writing novels has paid off for me financially. Is it because I have a few doubts about my writing and instinctively everyone can sense it and are therefore repelled from buying my books?

Now before you start thinking "here comes another writer to complain" let me just say this - that's not the reason I am writing this blog. I am not complaining . I am a Technical Writer and I love my job and it pays decent money. As well I love to write novels and non-fiction for all of my own reasons so it isn't life and death for me if I don't sell my books.

The reason why I am bringing this up is because the whole process of "success" and "failure' in humans and human nature really does fascinate me. Here is what I mean.

They say people only use 10% of their brain but statistics would suggest that there are some people who are using significantly more. Maybe the great "Kreskin" who can read minds is able to do so because he uses significantly more brain power than the average 10%. Has anyone studied this? Is this what gives successful people an edge over those who aren't successful?

In Canada every year our country puts out 1000's of good little hockey players that are made up of all shapes and sizes but what is it that made Sidney Crosby significantly better than 99.9% of the other kids. He isn't the biggest - the strongest - the fastest. If you compare his life with other kids who were given the same amount of opportunity, coaching, and skill development as Sidney why didn't they become as good. Whatever they are lacking in is overflowing in Sidney. I played hockey as a goalie. I made all of the same moves stopping pucks as an NHL goalie would. I even played with some NHL caliber players. So why wasn't I as good? Physical ability may be a solid answer for some of the answers with hockey but people are successful in things that don't require a physical prowess.

Could it just be luck? It has worked for many people - right place, right time.

I am constantly told how fast and accurate I am at writing all types of technical documentation yet to me I find it so easy I wonder sometimes when I'll be caught for being a fraud. At times I have to pinch myself.
"Am I really getting paid to do this?"
I have learned that for most people writing anything is as pleasureable as getting your womb scraped. 

But here is the rub. Work wise I am very successful- writing creatively not so much. So why doesn't my writing talent translate across all fields of writing? 

I have been writing for over 16 years and became a published author in 2005. So why haven't I had the same success as other authors. Are they lying to us about their success. The publishing game is full of smoke and mirrors. (Try to find out sales figures from a publisher is like breaking into the Pentagon - not going to happen!)

I have had the same level of basic writer training, sent my book to editors for clarity and tweaks on my style and grammar and I have had a desire to write since I was a kid. I have the talent or I wouldn't be able to continue doing what I do everyday. Many people outside of my family and friends tell me I have great story ideas. My books are fast paced and loaded with quality story lines. I have written some funny and quite startling novels but so far none have proven to be a NY Times best seller. Perhaps one more final final edit would have helped.

Maybe I didn't market myself properly. I even went crazy with press releases about my books that went around the world; even being picked up by USA Today. USA Today! That's got to account for something right? 

Krissy even make me a killer website that has won awards. This has translated to over 935 people from 49 countries visiting my website and they have stayed an average of 3.28 minutes...a very good rate from what I have been told.

So, what's the answer? Why do some people sell thousands of books and I sell significantly less?

There has got be something I am lacking. Some people may suggested I'm not very good at it. I've read some pretty awful published books in my life which prompted me to say "I can do better than this guy at writing!" 

For that to be an accurate conclusion a part of the world population would have had to have read my books. If 5000 of my books were sold and 4000 people said my writing stinks I would consider that a fair statement and carry on with my acting career instead. (2500 and 2500 would only confuse me.)
So far that hasn't happened.

I guess I may never know the answer to this question. My game plan is to continue to write and hope that someone discovers my talent and I become an overnight sensation - with all the fame and fortune that comes with it.

Wait! I think I got it..."I'm successful at not being successful."

I will continue to write my novels until:

a. I die, or
b. I become independently wealthy from my book sales and I can retire in the Caribbean.

Hmmm...let's hope I live a long, long time...
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