People - What makes one person successful while another a failure?
"Success"and "Failure" with people has always been a fascinating topic with me. Seeing someone very young achieving things that would take most humans years to accomplish has always been intriguing.
I was born and raised with severe self esteem issues as a child as well as being a late bloomer. (I was almost 19 in the Army when puberty finally finished its maiden voyage.)
To give you an example of what I am talking about let's look at Miley Cyrus. She just turned 18 recently and she's already a billionaire. How is this even possible?
I look back at my own life and at 18 I was a wreck - barely able to talk to girls, or think about what career path to take, how to pass any class without squeaking by, lose my virginity with the help of a girl or anything else that was supposed to make me into the man I am today.
You can say Miley was born with talent, a fantastic voice, no self esteem issues to screw up her brain and no fear about succeeding. You could add that her father got her the Disney contract but getting your foot in the door won't help you if you don't have the goods to keep you there.
The reality is Miley isn't really any different than 1000's of other kids her age. She's pretty but not what most guys would consider gorgeous. Almost all of her adoring fans are girls so that strikes that idea off the list.
So why her? Does she send out a secret "vibe" that attracts people to her that no average human being knows how to do? Perhaps she has a way of hypnotizing her audience into listening to her CD's and buy her stuff on a subconscious level. (Man I need some of that!)
My own theory is that there is more to it than just opportunity and talent. She has something in her that is lacking in all of the rest. What is it? Why is she not scared to be in front of 1000's of people singing - able to memorize hours of songs and dance moves - not be prone to making mistakes that inexperience and youth brings to everyone else?
In any career or endeavour if you take 2 people - same age, same level of talent, same breaks - one will make it - the other one won't. There are countless stories of people who have make it and they can't explain why. I know from the enormous amount of reading I do that in most cases the most talented person wasn't the one who became a success. Is it just perseverance? I don't think so.
I am now 53 and I finally figured out a few years ago what I wanted to do with my life - become a writer! (I told you I was a late bloomer.) Of course I spent 20 years in the military (not writing) before finally gaining enough smarts to become one. At least I gravitated to positions within the Air Force that allowed me to do some writing hence the Technical Writing career. But is that enough?
I know I am a good Technical Writer but ask me the rules for grammar and I couldn't tell you. For me it's a feeling - a sense that the paragraphs and sentences come together. My spelling is really good; something I actually took pride in while attending school. However, if I was asked to take an English Grammar test I'd likely flunk.
For me at least those pesky self esteem issues I used to own are now gone. My other life as a writer is writing novels and non-fiction books which I do as some kind of therapy to empty my head of my bizarre and vivid imagination. My stories have many twists and turns.
But I can't say writing novels has paid off for me financially. Is it because I have a few doubts about my writing and instinctively everyone can sense it and are therefore repelled from buying my books?
Now before you start thinking "here comes another writer to complain" let me just say this - that's not the reason I am writing this blog. I am not complaining . I am a Technical Writer and I love my job and it pays decent money. As well I love to write novels and non-fiction for all of my own reasons so it isn't life and death for me if I don't sell my books.
The reason why I am bringing this up is because the whole process of "success" and "failure' in humans and human nature really does fascinate me. Here is what I mean.
They say people only use 10% of their brain but statistics would suggest that there are some people who are using significantly more. Maybe the great "Kreskin" who can read minds is able to do so because he uses significantly more brain power than the average 10%. Has anyone studied this? Is this what gives successful people an edge over those who aren't successful?
In Canada every year our country puts out 1000's of good little hockey players that are made up of all shapes and sizes but what is it that made Sidney Crosby significantly better than 99.9% of the other kids. He isn't the biggest - the strongest - the fastest. If you compare his life with other kids who were given the same amount of opportunity, coaching, and skill development as Sidney why didn't they become as good. Whatever they are lacking in is overflowing in Sidney. I played hockey as a goalie. I made all of the same moves stopping pucks as an NHL goalie would. I even played with some NHL caliber players. So why wasn't I as good? Physical ability may be a solid answer for some of the answers with hockey but people are successful in things that don't require a physical prowess.
Could it just be luck? It has worked for many people - right place, right time.
I am constantly told how fast and accurate I am at writing all types of technical documentation yet to me I find it so easy I wonder sometimes when I'll be caught for being a fraud. At times I have to pinch myself.
"Am I really getting paid to do this?"
I have learned that for most people writing anything is as pleasureable as getting your womb scraped.
But here is the rub. Work wise I am very successful- writing creatively not so much. So why doesn't my writing talent translate across all fields of writing?
I have been writing for over 16 years and became a published author in 2005. So why haven't I had the same success as other authors. Are they lying to us about their success. The publishing game is full of smoke and mirrors. (Try to find out sales figures from a publisher is like breaking into the Pentagon - not going to happen!)
I have had the same level of basic writer training, sent my book to editors for clarity and tweaks on my style and grammar and I have had a desire to write since I was a kid. I have the talent or I wouldn't be able to continue doing what I do everyday. Many people outside of my family and friends tell me I have great story ideas. My books are fast paced and loaded with quality story lines. I have written some funny and quite startling novels but so far none have proven to be a NY Times best seller. Perhaps one more final final edit would have helped.
Maybe I didn't market myself properly. I even went crazy with press releases about my books that went around the world; even being picked up by USA Today. USA Today! That's got to account for something right?
Krissy even make me a killer website that has won awards. This has translated to over 935 people from 49 countries visiting my website and they have stayed an average of 3.28 minutes...a very good rate from what I have been told.
So, what's the answer? Why do some people sell thousands of books and I sell significantly less?
There has got be something I am lacking. Some people may suggested I'm not very good at it. I've read some pretty awful published books in my life which prompted me to say "I can do better than this guy at writing!"
For that to be an accurate conclusion a part of the world population would have had to have read my books. If 5000 of my books were sold and 4000 people said my writing stinks I would consider that a fair statement and carry on with my acting career instead. (2500 and 2500 would only confuse me.)
So far that hasn't happened.
I guess I may never know the answer to this question. My game plan is to continue to write and hope that someone discovers my talent and I become an overnight sensation - with all the fame and fortune that comes with it.
Wait! I think I got it..."I'm successful at not being successful."
I will continue to write my novels until:
a. I die, or
b. I become independently wealthy from my book sales and I can retire in the Caribbean.
Hmmm...let's hope I live a long, long time...
I was born and raised with severe self esteem issues as a child as well as being a late bloomer. (I was almost 19 in the Army when puberty finally finished its maiden voyage.)
To give you an example of what I am talking about let's look at Miley Cyrus. She just turned 18 recently and she's already a billionaire. How is this even possible?
I look back at my own life and at 18 I was a wreck - barely able to talk to girls, or think about what career path to take, how to pass any class without squeaking by, lose my virginity with the help of a girl or anything else that was supposed to make me into the man I am today.
You can say Miley was born with talent, a fantastic voice, no self esteem issues to screw up her brain and no fear about succeeding. You could add that her father got her the Disney contract but getting your foot in the door won't help you if you don't have the goods to keep you there.
The reality is Miley isn't really any different than 1000's of other kids her age. She's pretty but not what most guys would consider gorgeous. Almost all of her adoring fans are girls so that strikes that idea off the list.
So why her? Does she send out a secret "vibe" that attracts people to her that no average human being knows how to do? Perhaps she has a way of hypnotizing her audience into listening to her CD's and buy her stuff on a subconscious level. (Man I need some of that!)
My own theory is that there is more to it than just opportunity and talent. She has something in her that is lacking in all of the rest. What is it? Why is she not scared to be in front of 1000's of people singing - able to memorize hours of songs and dance moves - not be prone to making mistakes that inexperience and youth brings to everyone else?
In any career or endeavour if you take 2 people - same age, same level of talent, same breaks - one will make it - the other one won't. There are countless stories of people who have make it and they can't explain why. I know from the enormous amount of reading I do that in most cases the most talented person wasn't the one who became a success. Is it just perseverance? I don't think so.
I am now 53 and I finally figured out a few years ago what I wanted to do with my life - become a writer! (I told you I was a late bloomer.) Of course I spent 20 years in the military (not writing) before finally gaining enough smarts to become one. At least I gravitated to positions within the Air Force that allowed me to do some writing hence the Technical Writing career. But is that enough?
I know I am a good Technical Writer but ask me the rules for grammar and I couldn't tell you. For me it's a feeling - a sense that the paragraphs and sentences come together. My spelling is really good; something I actually took pride in while attending school. However, if I was asked to take an English Grammar test I'd likely flunk.
For me at least those pesky self esteem issues I used to own are now gone. My other life as a writer is writing novels and non-fiction books which I do as some kind of therapy to empty my head of my bizarre and vivid imagination. My stories have many twists and turns.
But I can't say writing novels has paid off for me financially. Is it because I have a few doubts about my writing and instinctively everyone can sense it and are therefore repelled from buying my books?
Now before you start thinking "here comes another writer to complain" let me just say this - that's not the reason I am writing this blog. I am not complaining . I am a Technical Writer and I love my job and it pays decent money. As well I love to write novels and non-fiction for all of my own reasons so it isn't life and death for me if I don't sell my books.
The reason why I am bringing this up is because the whole process of "success" and "failure' in humans and human nature really does fascinate me. Here is what I mean.
They say people only use 10% of their brain but statistics would suggest that there are some people who are using significantly more. Maybe the great "Kreskin" who can read minds is able to do so because he uses significantly more brain power than the average 10%. Has anyone studied this? Is this what gives successful people an edge over those who aren't successful?
In Canada every year our country puts out 1000's of good little hockey players that are made up of all shapes and sizes but what is it that made Sidney Crosby significantly better than 99.9% of the other kids. He isn't the biggest - the strongest - the fastest. If you compare his life with other kids who were given the same amount of opportunity, coaching, and skill development as Sidney why didn't they become as good. Whatever they are lacking in is overflowing in Sidney. I played hockey as a goalie. I made all of the same moves stopping pucks as an NHL goalie would. I even played with some NHL caliber players. So why wasn't I as good? Physical ability may be a solid answer for some of the answers with hockey but people are successful in things that don't require a physical prowess.
Could it just be luck? It has worked for many people - right place, right time.
I am constantly told how fast and accurate I am at writing all types of technical documentation yet to me I find it so easy I wonder sometimes when I'll be caught for being a fraud. At times I have to pinch myself.
"Am I really getting paid to do this?"
I have learned that for most people writing anything is as pleasureable as getting your womb scraped.
But here is the rub. Work wise I am very successful- writing creatively not so much. So why doesn't my writing talent translate across all fields of writing?
I have been writing for over 16 years and became a published author in 2005. So why haven't I had the same success as other authors. Are they lying to us about their success. The publishing game is full of smoke and mirrors. (Try to find out sales figures from a publisher is like breaking into the Pentagon - not going to happen!)
I have had the same level of basic writer training, sent my book to editors for clarity and tweaks on my style and grammar and I have had a desire to write since I was a kid. I have the talent or I wouldn't be able to continue doing what I do everyday. Many people outside of my family and friends tell me I have great story ideas. My books are fast paced and loaded with quality story lines. I have written some funny and quite startling novels but so far none have proven to be a NY Times best seller. Perhaps one more final final edit would have helped.
Maybe I didn't market myself properly. I even went crazy with press releases about my books that went around the world; even being picked up by USA Today. USA Today! That's got to account for something right?
Krissy even make me a killer website that has won awards. This has translated to over 935 people from 49 countries visiting my website and they have stayed an average of 3.28 minutes...a very good rate from what I have been told.
So, what's the answer? Why do some people sell thousands of books and I sell significantly less?
There has got be something I am lacking. Some people may suggested I'm not very good at it. I've read some pretty awful published books in my life which prompted me to say "I can do better than this guy at writing!"
For that to be an accurate conclusion a part of the world population would have had to have read my books. If 5000 of my books were sold and 4000 people said my writing stinks I would consider that a fair statement and carry on with my acting career instead. (2500 and 2500 would only confuse me.)
So far that hasn't happened.
I guess I may never know the answer to this question. My game plan is to continue to write and hope that someone discovers my talent and I become an overnight sensation - with all the fame and fortune that comes with it.
Wait! I think I got it..."I'm successful at not being successful."
I will continue to write my novels until:
a. I die, or
b. I become independently wealthy from my book sales and I can retire in the Caribbean.
Hmmm...let's hope I live a long, long time...
